Germaphobe

People are weird about germs. I see people carrying around those little bottles of hand sanitizer, squirting little piles of gel in their hands after they touch anything and vigorously rubbing their hands together. I’ve even seen them on key chains. I understand the need in certain situations, like if you work in a hospital. There are sick people everywhere and people think nothing of sticking your pen in their mouths while they wipe their kid’s nose, then handing it back to you; and these people have actual communicable diseases. When I worked at a hospital, I sanitized all the time. I even rubbed down all my pens twice a day. There’s illness everywhere. It’s where staph goes for happy hour.

It just seems unnecessary to pull out hand sanitizer after handing money to a cashier in a grocery store. Especially since that same person probably didn't use it after putting the money into their wallet. I’ve never seen anyone use it after visiting an ATM. It almost makes me wish I was sick so I would have a weapon that would really make them squirm. Germs are everywhere. No matter how hard you try, you can’t eliminate them all. And you shouldn't try. By not exposing yourself to everyday bacteria you are only making yourself more vulnerable to them. Besides, let’s face it, most of the sanitizing and hand washing is just for show.  

The people that scream foul over double dipping are the ones that think it’s adorable to feed their dogs from their forks. So you’re saying that a minuscule amount of my spit on a chip that may or may not have transferred into the dip is less sanitary than eating after a dog. I’ve seen my dog eat cat turds. I think it’s safe to say that I have never eaten cat turds. Not even by accident. Or they wipe the overflow baby food off their kids face and then put it in their own mouths. Baby’s put everything under the sun in their mouths. They might have actually eaten a cat turd. Again, I have not. The same people that sanitize slides at McDonalds before they let their kid play on them scream “5 second rule” when that same kid drops a french fry. I don’t care that their kid is eating off the floor.  Hell, I eat off the floor. There’s just no need to use germs as a way to make you feel superior.  We get it. You’re super clean. The rest of us are germ ridden piles of filth.