Sorry 'Bout it!

I’ve developed a mysterious allergy to peaches. I suggest that we ban cobbler from public places and demand sensitivity training so that people are more considerate of my lack of cobbler. Oh, and peach farmers shouldn’t be able to grow or sell peaches where I can smell them. What do you mean that sounds ridiculous? I am outraged! 

Ok, so am I the only one that’s getting sick to death of everyone having a cause? No more bake sales because kids have peanut allergies. Don’t use Netflix because they don’t rate all their movies or have ineffective parental control options. That art is offensive. Never ever talk about sex or show naked people. Don’t do drugs. Music and literature should be G-rated. Everyone gets a turn and no one fails. WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN?!?!

Well, what about them? I am not anti-child, and I understand that as parents, the sun rises and sets on their kids. But here’s the thing… it’s not society’s job to keep parents from having to discuss uncomfortable topics or to keep their kids safe. On the contrary, it’s a parent’s job is to prepare their kids for the adult world, not to make the world into a Disney theme park, all sweetness and sunshine and rainbows.

It’s not just the kids, though. It’s everything. This country has gone mad. Everything is regulated or banned from pressure cookers to size of your soda. It’s just so out of hand. Everyone seems to be screaming freedom with one side of their mouth and trying to ban something with the other.

I don’t want to live in a society where everything is sanitized for the highest common denominator.  I enjoy provocative art. I eat the hell out of peanuts. I do on occasion fail and sometimes my turn gets skipped over. I've been known to dump giant sodas into my already ample ass. Sometimes I take a near fatal dose of Benadryl and eat peaches before I slip into a coma because they’re delicious. Deal with your own issues. Teach your kids to deal with theirs too, because frankly I think that hooker art is amazing, and I don’t care how you explain that to your kid. I didn’t sign up for that job.  You did.