Cat on a Cold Tar Roof

I open my eyes. The morning breeze flows in through the open window, damp and chilly. I pull the covers up closer to my chin and peek at the clock. Oh yeah, I can’t see that far. Stupid glasses. I blindly feel for my glasses and hold them up to look at the clock. It blurrily glows 7:10. The sun is just starting to come up. That chilly breeze is carrying a sound. It’s a whiney, high pitched call of some kind. Is that damn mockingbird back? Wait…no definitely human. What the hell is she saying? Rag weed?  Bird seed? The voice gets closer. Oh. Jazzy. That stupid woman is calling her cat again. I peek out the window and see a pink bathrobe pass behind the vine covered fence. Geez. It’s seven o’clock in the morning.

 I put my glasses on and walk into the kitchen to make coffee. The sound is coming every few seconds. “Jaaaaaa-zeeeeee! Jaaaaaaa-zeeeee!” I see movement outside and look up. There’s old jazzy sitting on top of my shed. His eyes slowly shifting from side to side and he watches the woman walk up and down the access road behind our houses. He flips his tail to let me know he sees me, but keeps his eyes trained on the woman.  I move closer to the open window.

 “What’s up little fella? Can I play too?” He flips his tail again.

 “Jaaaaaaa-zeeeee!”

I lean close to the screen and test out my best cat impression. “Meeew. Mew.” Jazzy whips his head around and looks at me.

“Jazzy?! Is that you?! Where are you baby?” Jazzy’s head snaps back to the woman. Since I don’t know how to say, “Over here!” in crazy cat lady I try another cat sound.

“RrrrrrRRRRrrrr. Hssssss!” Jazzy looks back at me.

“Jazzy!? Are you alright? Jazzy!!!” Jazzy looks at the woman. She is walking faster now, but passes right by us.

“Errrowwwwlllllll!” Jazzy looks at me.  He flips his tail. I believe he is enjoying this.  The woman spins around and homes in on my back yard. I almost let a giggle escape, but manage to swallow it. She is peeking through the vines on the fence.

“Jazzy? Are you back there? Are you ok baby?”

I can’t help it. I know it is just wrong. In my best cat voice I say, “Yeeesssss.”

The woman stops in her tracks. Her voice is confused and tentative this time. “Jazzy?”

“Up heeeere.” Jazzy flips his tail rhythmically.

The woman finally looks up. “There you are. Come down here and get your breakfast.”  The woman’s eyes dart around the yard, looking for the source of the voice. Jazzy looks back at me before he jumps to a nearby tree and makes his way to the ground. Jazzy and the woman disappear down the alley. Wow.