Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Calculating Persistence

The beginning of a new year means we’re going to get new stuff. We look forward to the big chunk of money tax time brings every year to make improvements we can’t otherwise afford. This year, we’re changing up the kitchen. Having no upper cabinets, we just don’t have enough storage. We hit a couple of furniture stores to price sideboard type units in which to hide dry goods.

Furniture stores in general are annoying. Intrusive, aggravating employees that work on commission hover over you desperate to write up a sale. Usually the magic words, “We’re not looking to buy today.” makes them magically disappear. This was not so in the last place we visited.

Finding  a piece we would likely consider, Dewie and I were carefully investigating the potential wear of a buffet when we were approached by Julie. We swiftly told her that we were not buying at that time and were just considering our options. She would not be deterred that easily.

“You know, Friday we’re having a sale. Everything is 20% off.”

“Good to know, Julie. We will keep that in mind.” Julie was not deterred. She whips out a calculator and started punching in numbers.

“That would mean this piece would cost you…” (tappity..tap..tap)

“ $320. 20% off of $400 is $80.”

“Ummmmm…” (tappity…tap, tap) What the hell is she still typing? Even if I had not just given her the answer, she shouldn’t have to put in that many numbers.  She looks up at me sympathetically. “Actually it would be $280, so that’s even better, right?” Her lipstick caked lips part in an excited “O.”  What the hell did she do? That’s not even close, and her condescending overreaction has me suppressing the urge to slap that calculator out of her hands.

“So… Julie. If %10 of 400 is 40, then twice that would be 80, right?”

“Oh, I guess you’re right when you put it that way. I wonder where I went wrong?” Her face falls and that stupid suprised face droops in frustration. Suddenly, I feel bad for her. The deep lines in her face tell me she wears this expression often. I give her an out.

“It doesn’t matter. We’ll keep the sale in mind if we decide to go with this piece.”

Trying to redeem herself, she starts tapping again. “Well, the total price with tax and a $50 delivery fee would be…” (Tap, tap, tappity, tap, tap…) Trying to be polite, I wait for her to finish. It seems really important to her that she gets this one right. A full minute passes. Oh come on! Say $392! Come on, Julie… you can do it. $392. I try to telepathically send her the correct answer.  She has a calculator for crying in the sink.

 “$375.” Ohhh. So close. Perhaps they should add a basic math skills test to the hiring process.  At this point, I’m tired of this game, and frankly I’m just ready to go, so I don’t bother to correct her.

“Ok, then. Thanks, Julie.”

“Well if you decide to buy, please remember to ask for me!”

Don’t worry, Julie. You’ve made a lasting impression...

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