Shark Attack

I am not typically a violent person, but I find myself hoping people will get hurt when they partake in stupid activities. The rush of endorphins seems to be enough reason to put your life in danger for a fairly large portion of the population.  I don’t understand it. I know it seems sadistic, but here’s a list of stupid crap people do that I hope ends in injury.

1.       Swimming with Sharks.

I almost understand it for the sake of education, but for purely entertainment purposes, this is beyond moronic. You cannot “make friends” with a shark. Sharks are simple, barely alive almost robotic animals with tiny little brains that function almost solely on instinct. Oh, and they have the capability of eating your face off.  Getting a cage and throwing bloody meat at them is not my idea of fun. I always wish the dumbass in the cage would stick his arm out just a little further…

2.       Bull fighting

This is not only dumb, but mean. What kind of macho piece of crap needs to prove his manhood by getting in the ring with a bull that’s already been beaten half to death? Humans are already at the top of the food chain; just go have a burger and call it conquered.

3.       Bull Riding

The bull clearly does not care to be ridden or he wouldn’t be jumping around like that. What’s the purpose of this? I’ve never seen anyone riding a bull around explaining, “Yeah, we finally broke him. He was a tough one, but he’s just gentle as can be now.” Along the same lines of the bull fighting, the need to conquer this animal seems to be pretty universal. I suspect it has something to do with the size of its enormous wiener.

4.       BASE Jumping

This is by far the dumbest thing I have ever seen. It does not take even a smidge of talent to jump off of high things. As a matter of fact, I’m pretty sure that gravity is doing all the work. I kind of wish gravity and the wind would conspire to blow that idiot right into that outcrop of sharp rocks. At least that way we know he won’t be breeding.

5.       Anyone who sticks their heads into a giant animal’s mouth.

You see it all the time, some “trainer” proving their dominance over a huge dangerous animal by sticking their head between its powerful jaws. Maybe this impresses some people. Animals are not entertainment. Lions, tiger, crocodiles… they all belong in the wild. You’ve already stolen it’s dignity by making him perform; now you’re going to stick your head in its mouth? I hope that thing snaps your neck like a chicken bone. I also hope those vise-like jaws cause one of your eyes to pop out and roll along the floor so you can watch him eat your face before you die. Idiot.