I recently finished the first two books in The Hunger Games series and although they’re not my usual cup of tea, I have to say that I did enjoy them. I was especially impressed that even being young adult novels, they contained such superb character development that the events in the books literally moved me to tears. Several times. Since I had to wait until payday to download the third book onto my kindle (I’ve reached my budgeted book buying quota for this week), I thought I would talk Dewie into reading the first two. I thought she would enjoy them given her obsession with the show Spartacus. Take out the soft porn, replace the gladiators with kids and throw in a little Beyond the Thunderdome, and it’s eerily similar. I was right. She was hooked.
Dewie tends to be fairly sensitive. When we watch sad movies she’s always the first to start sniffling, especially if it involves kids. Being the evil schemer that I am, I decided I would monitor her progress in the books, estimate when she got to the sad parts, wait for her to cry, and make fun of her.
The next evening, the two of us were lying in bed reading. Knowing a tear-jerker moment was quickly approaching, I casually asked her what was happening in the book. Not bothering to look up, she simply muttered, “Wasps.” I looked at the clock, and estimated an hour, maybe a little less until the first moment of pure, pitiful sadness. About an hour later she puts the kindle down and declares that she’s tired. Confused and a little disappointed, I ask her again where she is in the book.
“Rue just died.”
Ok, now I’m just annoyed. “You didn’t find that… sad?”
“Yeah, it was sad.”
“You didn’t get a little misty eyed, you know with the flowers and the bread and what not?” She just looks at me with this stupid blank look on her face. “You didn’t get to that, did you?”
“No, she just died.”
I’m completely exasperated. “You just stopped in the middle of that?”
“I’m sleepy.”
“Now it’s going to be all anti-climactic. You can’t stop there. You ruined the moment!”
She turns over and pulls the covers up around her neck. “So, I’ll back up a few pages tomorrow.”
I huff like a petulant child. “It won’t be the same!”
“I’m closing my eyes.”
The next night, she finishes the first book and moves on to the second. Again I wait for it. I know it’s coming because she’s making a frowny face and again I’ve estimated when she will approach one of the saddest parts of the story. After 5 minutes or so, her face relaxes and the frown disappears.
“What just happened? “
“Katniss just made her little speech and they just shot the old man.”
“Seriously?”
“Uh… yeah.”
“The old man did the whistle thing and everyone in the crowd did the whole kiss the three finger salute and everything?”
“Yep.”
“Have you no soul?”
“What?”
“HOW ARE YOU NOT CRYING?!”
“It was sad and little disturbing, but I don’t know, it just wasn’t ‘crying’ sad.”
“You have a cold, black heart you know that?”
She laughs at me and turns over. “I’m closing my eyes…”
“Fine.”
The next evening, I’m lying in bed reading alone and Dewie shuffles into the bedroom, wiping her eyes.
“I just got to the part where they whipped Gale. It was so sad.”
For a second I’m perplexed. “Really? You thought that was sad enough to cry?”
She looks up and shows me her pronounced frown and trembling bottom lip. It’s the most exaggerated sad face I’ve ever seen. A sob rips through her chest and she pounds the bed with her fist. “WHY? WHY? WHY??”
I just look at her. “Really? You pulled out the Kerrigan ‘why?’” She starts to giggle. “I’m going to bed.” I tell her, “ You and your soulless, cold, black heart are welcome to join me.
“I can’t stop here, it would be anti-climactic. I don’t want to ruin the moment.”
“I’m closing my eyes…”
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