Having a birthday four days before Christmas sucks. People are busy, broke and generally distracted. It’s hard to insist that a day be all about me under these circumstances. Hard…but not impossible. That’s why you have to start reminding people early. It’s true that “Guess what happens in four days?” is usually met with eye rolling and indifference, what they’re really thinking is “Crap! I gotta get a cake mix.” The reminding technique is imperative to guarantee that your special day is properly observed. The rest is up to you. Everyone has at least one loved one with a birthday that is overshadowed by Christmas. The following is a list of things that happen regularly that make those of us with Christmas birthdays feel like an afterthought.
1. Receiving birthday gifts wrapped in Christmas paper.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not unappreciative of the gift. I love presents, especially goofy ones and homemade ones. But basically what you’re saying when you wrap it in Christmas paper is that, “I forgot about your birthday and my kid forgot to take this to his teacher so I gave it to you.” You wouldn’t give a gift to someone for their birthday wrapped in baby shower paper or paper that says, “Happy Graduation!” And no, you can’t just turn it inside out, but that is slightly better than getting it Christmas side out.
2. Picking a present out from under the tree for your birthday.
Yes, this has actually happened to me. This statement is always quickly followed by, “No! Not that one! Or that one! Here, this one is OK.” Fuzzy socks covered in tiny Santas, just what I always wanted for my birthday. Just admit it. You forgot. Don’t insult me by making me participate in this embarrassing charade. It’s just pitiful.
3. Receiving Christmas instead of birthday cards.
It just doesn’t count. You can’t scribble out the Merry Christmas and write Happy Birthday. The next person that does this is going to receive a “Congratulations on the new baby!” card for their next birthday. You might as well go the card aisle blind folded and pick one out all pin the tail on the donkey style.
4. Actually telling me, “I didn’t get you anything for your birthday because we spent all of our money on Christmas.”
This statement is insulting on so many levels. First of all, I don’t expect everyone on the planet to give me something on my birthday and to indicate that I would be so presumptuous and greedy, frankly hurts my feelings a little. Secondly, it’s almost accusatory, like I have a lot of nerve to choose to be born so close to a major holiday.
5. “I know it’s a Christmas (mug, socks, pen, etc.), but it’s the thought that counts, right?”
Actually it is the thought that counts, and right now you have just handed me evidence that no thought what-so-ever has gone into this gift. Trust me, I would rather you give me nothing at all than make me look at you and fake gratitude while you blatantly express to me that I am not important enough to require minimal effort on your part. It’s embarrassing for both of us, whether you know to be embarrassed or not.
It’s not really that complicated. Everyone wants to be acknowledged on their birthday and when it feels like an obligatory afterthought it kind of sucks, especially when it happens year after year. So, be nice. Instead of half-assing it, send me a text or an email. Make me some cookies. Draw me a funny picture. Just make sure there are no Christmas trees in it.
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